Redefining Womanhood-balancing ambition, motherhood and tradition

By Shazia Abba

We deserve representation. We deserve leadership that doesn’t ask us to choose between our children and our careers and we deserve to author our own stories, not as women juggling impossible expectations, but as women who have redefined what balance truly means.

As a South African woman of colour, I have lived beneath the weight of inherited expectations, the unspoken pressure to stay within predefined roles, to be agreeable, to prioritise duty over desire. Yet, I have also tasted the quiet power of choosing differently, of daring to rise beyond what the world expected of me. My journey has been one of faith, resistance and the unshakeable belief that women should never have to choose between their ambition and motherhood.

From as early as I can remember, I was a curious child. Learning fascinated me, but growing up in a traditional Indian household in a small town, the idea of higher education felt distant, almost forbidden. Books became my sanctuary, a portal into worlds where women could be more, dream more, do more. Then, at 18, everything changed: I got married.

To many, a young marriage signals the end of one’s personal aspirations. For me, it was the beginning of something beyond my imagination. My husband was pursuing his degree in Accounting at the time and watching him step into that space gave me the courage to imagine myself there too. While navigating the complexities of marriage, chronic illness, and eventually motherhood, I continued to hold on to the vision of a life where I could be both nurturer and leader.

At 20, I became a mother. It was the most beautiful and terrifying experience. The joy was real but so were the struggles. Chronic health issues, postpartum trauma and the heavy veil of societal expectation often left me feeling as though I were drowning quietly. When a complicated pregnancy forced me to pause my studies, I remember wondering if I’d ever return. But what I’ve since learned is that grace lives in the pause. A pause is not an ending, it is a chapter in the unfolding story of becoming.

In those moments, it was my faith that steadied me. Turning to God brought a sense of clarity I had never known before. I discovered that resilience isn’t just about forging ahead, it’s also about learning when to surrender, when to rest and when to rise again with purpose.

But let’s be honest, the challenges that women face aren’t only external. As Sheryl Sandberg aptly noted, some of the most crippling barriers are the ones we construct within ourselves. Self-doubt. Imposter syndrome. That quiet inner voice that says, Who do you think you are? I have heard it many times. I’ve questioned whether I was good enough to lead, whether I could really balance ambition and motherhood, whether the world would ever make space for me at the table. It took years of unlearning and unbecoming to realise the truth: I am capable. I am worthy and I do not need permission to thrive.

Why should I settle for crawling when I was born with wings? Rumi’s words echo in my heart. The truth is, limitation is often a mindset, not a reality. Women are powerful beyond measure, yet we’ve been conditioned to believe in boundaries that were never ours to begin with. I was never meant to remain in the shadows, I was always meant to soar.

Today, as a C-suite executive, I see up close the double standards that still haunt women in leadership. We’re expected to prove ourselves over and over, to outperform just to be seen. But I’ve made peace with the idea that my leadership is not just about growth targets or performance metrics, it’s about opening doors, about creating space for more women to rise without apology or compromise.

We deserve representation. We deserve leadership that doesn’t ask us to choose between our children and our careers and we deserve to author our own stories, not as women juggling impossible expectations, but as women who have redefined what balance truly means.

To every woman reading this: you are allowed to dream beyond the boundaries that were handed to you. You are allowed to rest, to retreat, to reimagine and to return in full power. You don’t need to shrink to be accepted. You don’t need to wait for validation. You already are everything you need to be, because if there’s one thing my journey has shown me, it’s this: ambition and motherhood are not at odds. In fact, they can strengthen one another and when we embrace both, we become unstoppable.

After all, she believed she could—so she did.

About Shazia

Shazia Abba is a CFO, mother of four and advocate for women in leadership. With a strong foundation in finance and education, she brings strategic insight and heart to the boardroom, proving that motherhood and executive leadership can thrive together

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